August 7, 2014

I Can’t Believe He Asked Me This Before 8 AM

“Good morning, honey. Let’s talk about this old bill I’m just now seeing and what happened to your accountant. Did you call him? Did you follow up? This is all wrong, what’s going on with this….”

Wait, honey. Hold your horses. I just woke up. I need to breathe. Meditate. Journal. Make tea. Drink water. Stretch a minute. Say 50 positive affirmations to myself in the mirror (half kidding on that one).

Two different planets. Two different needs. Neither wrong. Neither right.

How do you live in harmony? Now it might be not quite as polar as the situation above (likely most mornings a bill is brought to your attention and you just want a minute to pee first), but still. These mornings affect us and can have an impact on our day and our food choices. If you’re already feeling flustered first thing in the AM you’re much more likely to scarf your breakfast and continue your day with that flustered momentum.

How you get both your needs met is the question.

To help make your mornings more fun (and bedtime more relaxing) I’ve created guidelines that both you and your rooming partner can get behind. 🙂

1. Have a conversation about morning and nighttime routines. Explain to your partner what you need, what you’re willing to be flexible on and what is a hard, no way, never. Each take your turn and take the time to listen, share, talk, nod, and even repeat back to the person what you heard so they really know you heard them.

2. Decide how to move forward with the new parameters. Now that you know what the other needs, talk through how you can make it the best possible morning or night for both of you. Maybe you need a home affairs cut off time an hour before bed? No problem. But then decide what time you will be available to talk about those things. Perhaps right after dinner as you’re cleaning up dishes or before you settle onto the couch for tv or a book? Check that both of your needs are being met fairly.

3. Make a commitment. Decide that you are going to work on this together; that it isn’t going to be perfect and that’s okay. Some days will be better than others. Promise that you won’t bash the other person if they brush off your bill conversation when you said you would have it at that time. Be patient. Be kind. Know that you are both doing your best.

Now I want to hear from you. How do you come together in your partnerships to tackle life’s affairs and feel like your needs are being met? Share with me below and on twitter.

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