When I met Alex, she was a healthy celeb who’d co-produced and starred in the Oscar-nominated documentary Super Size Me.
She was interviewed by Oprah on her couch, and had 4 best-selling books to her name…but there was a secret she was struggling with behind the scenes. She’d healed her body and helped so many clients with the same kind of food strategies and recipes I share with you all, yet she was suffering in silence.
Literally, she was silent about her needs and avoiding tough conversations in her life and her silence was causing all kinds of other “health” problems:
- Stress from not having boundaries in her marriage
- Resentment was building in relationships (along with a heavy feeling in her gut)
- Emotional eating (even the healthy stuff) as she tried to quiet that nagging voice
- Straight up exhaustion as she did way too much by herself (not asking for help!)
So what changed? Over the last 8 years, Alex mastered and has since taught 1000s of people a simple 4-step method she and her hubby Bob created that I’m so excited to share with you today:
It’s called the All-In Method, and it is soooo good.
You know I’m always here for some real talk and to cheer on your growth and healing… I’ve seen so many of you heal your gut and connect with your intuition on a whole new level.
So what’s one of the toughest things we need to take on right now? It’s not gut health (pours kraut juice all over the ENTIRE planet).
Setting boundaries (the word of 2020, amiright?) and having tough conversations with the people that matter most so we can fully share our hopes and dreams, too, is some of the most important work we can do right now.
Here are three of Alex’s top strategies that I LOVE for how to have a tough talk where E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E wins:
- Pick a time together when you can both be spacious and present to talk: don’t spring a big topic on someone right before bed, and please don’t say “we need to talk now.” (that makes anyone super defensive) Instead, choose a time in the next 48-hours where you’re both well-fed, rested, and sober.
- Choose one specific topic to discuss. Seriously, this is a game-changer. When you both focus on ONE topic, not bringing up junk from the past, your inner-worrier can calm down.
- Agree to equal speaking time, where one person talks for 2-5 minutes, and the other person just listens. Set a timer, and agree to switch off between Listener and Speaker roles. You’re not arguing points, you’re just sharing.
These are the ground-rules for the All-In Method that Alex shares in Radical Alignment.
What comes next is the 4-step conversation where you share your intentions, concerns, boundaries, and dreams.
Here’s what I know to be true: When we master tough talks, we get free of so much stress and resentment.
Whether you need to tackle:
- Talking finances and budget with your partner
- What to do about sending your kid to school
- Finally talking politics with That Uncle
- Getting your partner on board with your eating plan (and be your biggest supporter!)
- Negotiating “covid pods” with friends
- Or just want to step up your communication leadership for career advancement…
Plus, our dear friend Rebekah Borucki, author of Navy’s favorite book Zara’s Big Messy Day, wrote the foreword to Radical Alignment, saying: “this book saved my marriage like 17 times! I use it with all 5 of my kids. EVERYONE should get this.”
Let me know if you read it and what your biggest a-ha moments are!